Yup! Another movie quote for the title in the good ol' Fox Hole.

So 4 years now. Wow. I can't believe it's been 4 years since I've made an entry. A lot has happened, but in that tone, nothing has really changed.

In a nutshell, I fell in love with the most wonderful girl. She completed me in every way I was broken. I'd never have someone that into me before. Yes, I know. It was long distance, but she made me feel like this could actually work. And then when she visited me, it made me feel a million dollars and then some. However, as usual, I get happy and let my guard down. I think "ok this is actually going to work." BAM. I get blind-sided and then tossed to the side. But it's my fault somehow. Somehow it was MY fault that someone wanted a FwB with her and I didn't like that. Right. Do I still love her? you better believe it. Call me crazy, but she was the only person I thought that deeply of. I thought and cared about so much that the actual "M" word crossed my mind. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with this person. Now I'm lucky if she says two things to me in a month and one of those things is usually bitching at me about whatever.

*Sigh* but that's alright. Shit happens I guess. I miss the hell out of her and well, at the moment would do anything to have her like that in my life again. Especially since she made me so happy.

Other than that, the driving complex I have is slowly fading away. Right now, money is the issue of me taking more driving lessons. Job hunting as always. It freakin sucks,

Well, that's enough for a 4 year hiatus. Hopefully I'm not that slack again in the future. :P Besides! We all know 2012 is the end, so I've got a year!

So I've been playing World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade alot lately. It's been pretty fun. However running a guild is kind of taxing. I enjoy being able to play at my own leisure, instead of having to worry about being on every damn day. It's a game to me, not life. However some people in the guild don't seem to understand that. I enjoy the new places and content but I really don't want to go hardcore, because some people want to play hardcore.

I'll be updating this blog more often as possible.

So GFF is down. What's new you ask? Well, this could be IT. The BIG SLEEP! Of course in the words of Evil Ash (somewhat) "GFF lives... AGAIN!"

We've got a few options. Pay bobo teh monies and get our (yes, OUR) shit back. Or start fresh and new with a community that's actually ran by the community and not in the hands of someone who has dwindled away from the community in the past couple of years.

Oh well, for the time being this will be my "ChocoJournal" It'll do some good to have a way to vent again.

VIVA LA GFF~

NO ONE KNOWS, HIGHLANDER! Well, good job Thomas. The woman that's pretty much fucking PERFECT in your eyes, you let slip away with one stupid fucking comment. Wow, talk about things that suck major ass.

Well, for the second time in 3 days, I just got the "friends" speech from another girl. I am so sick and tired of all this crap. It sucks. When is the"friends" shit going to end?

So what all has been going on you ask? Imma tell you!

Since Jan, things have went so-so. I've probably lost a friend from assumptions. Which sucks. Of course the circumstances around it are flakey. If she's going to be like that, why do I even bother hanging around them? I'm tired of being treted like shit cause I don't have money or looks.

The real reason for this journal is trying to figure out why women forget to tell people things that need to be told. So I meet this girl on yahoo last month. We start talking. We talk for around a month Well, about 3 days ago I get an email telling me that "I'm sweet to talk to." AWWWWWWWWWW! Then further into the email I'm told: "You're a great friend." The FRIENDS speech! OH NOES! I know it's coming, but I decide to just play it off as, "Well I like talking to you too."

THE NEXT EMAIL! "Well, I'm talking to someone, well, actually seeing." So, I'm like.. "FUCK!" well I don't say that, I'm thinking it. The thing I say is, "Well, I kinda figured you were seeing someone." So the next email reads. "Are you hurt? I'm sorry if I hurt you." So I say, "I'm hurt a tiny bit, but that's ok." Then the next email goes "Why are you hurt? You don't even know me?" WTF IS THAT SHIT ABOUT? I'm hurt, but I'm not allowed to be hurt. It's not like I was CRYING or anything, I just got hurt that she was seeing someone. Which of course, the REASON I'm hurt is because well... she neglected to tell me that she was talking to other people. Not that I thought she'd talk to me exclusively, however it would be nice to hear that she was talking to other guys as well, so I can be like "Ok I fuck off." GRAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Actually, there's only one person right now I'd want to be with. She's up north but getting there is going to be so much work.. and if I can make it, it'd be awesome. However, I don't want her to ruin her life waiting for me, like I've ruined mine waiting for this one other girl for 5 years to have her just tell me finally that she can't be with me. Blah.

Anyway that just about does it for this time. I promise to make more entries in the future!

So, I learned a valuable lesson. Don't get your hopes up. When someone starts telling you shit that's too good to be true, it usually is. I'll learn this lesson one day, kids. Maybe.

I swear, 2005 better be a better year than this.

Blergh. Well kiddies, it's been just about half a year, maybe longer, since my last "blog" update. This one can be a real doozy, but what good is a blog if I'm doing nothing about it?

Ahh the internet. It's like a huge adventure. Instant messaging and message boards are like MUDs (Multi-User Dungeons) You type something in a little box, and from the other side, something is written back. Often, you'll run into MAGICAL WORDS that say stuff to you that get you're interest. You keep going back for more... and more... until you're TRAPPED IN! Ok so where is this going? I don't know :p

Seriously though. I don't know why it is I can do shit to get myself in trouble. I promise people that I won't fall for them. Im' pretty good at keeping the promise, but then when I think I'm good and psychologically stable... a bombshell gets dropped. I mean, like if someone's telling you something that gives you hope and then suddenly they say something... that doesn't really contradict.. but kind of throws a slap in your face and wakes you up a bit. I just had one of these last night. I guess I got so wrapped up in the thought of having to get to do something I've never done before... and then for like a week, I've felt as if "damn, it could actually happen" I forgot one of the main things told to me about the stipulations of it... and then (GET UP GET UP GET UP DROP THE BOMBSHELL!) I didn't take it well at all. Not as well as of expected of me anyway. I felt bad for feeling like that, but I don't know. Yeargh.

Since I missed International Talk Like a Pirate Day, the next update will be in pirate. :)

So, I was right about yesterday. But what I don't understand, is why she had to be selfish about it. Meh, I dunno anymore. I'm half-tired of being left for another guy. It always happens to me, and I'm sick of it.

So, I meet another girl. We start talking to each other and within a week, she says to me I'm the perfect person for her. We had everything in common. We kept reading each others thoughts. I mean, it was just one thing after the other that led into deeper feelings.  We make plans to meet in June, and her parents thrash that idea completely. So she's at college and meets this person in a class. She tells me it's hard to  keep refusing to go out with him and she has to remind herself I'm her "boyfriend". Now she is starting to distance herself. She told a mutual friend that I'm starting to "bother" her and it had been getting at her for a week. The exact amount of time she's been in college. This isn't old news for me. I know the signs, cause I've seen it before. I'm the most perfect person in the world, until someone else comes along and once that happens, it's over. She'll start to distance herself, get it in her mind that I'm "creepy" and "obsessive" so she can get me pissed or hurt enough that I'd just break it off, so she won't feel guilty about having persued that person. Because, right now. I'm an asshole. She resents me now because she wants to get with that other person, but she's with me and sees me as an interference, a hiderance if you will, of that. If I'm out of the picture, then she won't feel guilty about it.

Or, I could be wrong. But I don't think so, not this time. I've seen the signs before, it's always happening to me.  I'll give it another week. If things haven't improved by then, I'm going to have to let it go. Not something I really want to do, but it's the right thing I guess.

What a way to spend a birthday, ya?